Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Mother heart

I understand and offer compassion for the difficulty of those that work outside the home and can't be with their kids.  (I was one.)  I feel for mom's when they can't be with those that attend school (I am one.)  I choose to tend my children as much as possible.  I do not get paid to work outside the home.  I do not have any advanced degree.  So when someone looks to label me, I use the best words I have (that inevitably fail to express what they may seek to know about me.)  I grasp for what is best and most brief and say, "I am a Full time Mom, or a stay at home mom"; both of which fall ridiculously short of span of what I do in a day, or what I'm worth.  In our natural inclination to see ourselves reflected in the words of others, those that work outside the home PT or FT feel like they have been belittled, or if they have no children that they are not yet of worth.

I decided to serve my grandmother at home rather than seek education in the few years following HS.  I served a church mission to Houston (Spanish speaking, a great blessing) and put off seeking a husband.  I have no further formal education because I chose to put my husband through school.  I went to work outside the home to provide for a time (which was a job more easily acquired because of being bilingual.  So dad was FT and a Grad student).  I live in a 3/1/1 because we have to pay $300/ mo for gas (and rising).  My choices are my own; they suit me.  Others have other needs; by all means please meet them. 

Our choices and priorities are our own and do not suit everyone in every circumstance.  We must, therefore, be tolerant, even supportive of others.  How heartbreaking when one finds success or empowerment by insulting or belittling another's choices.  Let us not be hasty to judge in order to justify self.  I'm okay with you and your choices.  I rejoice in your successes.  It is vain to say, "I wish I were at home, or I wish I had a 2 toilet home, or I wish I had children."  There is joy in each life, as well as sacrifice and sorrow and disappointment.  Our worth is inherent.  No title, no position, no education will make us more or less than we are; it is dependent upon nothing.  But greater happiness can be found in rejoicing and being grateful; it allows me to feel that worth more.  Let us be happy in the choices we have made, or change what we can to find it.

There is nothing better than each of your mother hearts; to defend home, family and love.  By all means protect them and this most noble calling by acting accordingly.  Our job as Mothers is to nurture, whether we have children or not.  To build, to encourage, to love, to stretch, to expand, to enlighten.  Let us be above labels and be above reproach because we did our best with the time and means allotted.  You are the heart of your family.  May you be ever sustained and acknowledged and see success in your charge.  May we change the world for the better by nobly engaging in a sacred duty to nurture the rising generation.  And when we fall short, may angels attend them to bear them up under their heavy burden to resist the degrading, pustule world that would rather take our energy, our souls, our happiness to satisfy the unimaginable voracious vanity and pride that is in her found.  May we rely upon his promises to protect this divine role and uplift and strengthen the family unit, for we are ALL of the same family.  We are ALL His.


  1. How eloquently you have stated this. When someone asks "What do you do, or more often than not, Where do you work?" You certainly can feel of less worth when you answer "I am a stay-at-home mom." Or as my daughter once said when someone asked her what I did. She replied "She's just a mom." "Just a mom", hmmm. Well, that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. But my daughter didn't mean it maliciously. I have to say that even with what I have accomplished in college, I value so much more highly my God-given vocation as a mother. The credit hours earned in college seem like a faint memory and don't even define me anymore. We all have different gifts and talents. And we shouldn't judge someone based on their life choices. But for me, being "just a mom" really is the long and short of it. Thanks Lizzie for such a well put post.

  2. You are one that always comes to the forefront of my mind as one of the most admirable Mother hearts I know. To love your girls, and my boys for that matter, so very much. Thank you for your example.