My Albatross

 

 

Guillaume Paumier

Cat ownership is often depicted like this sculpture, mutual affection, tenderness, and great care.  However, in my case it feels a bit more like this:

 

As previously mentioned in a prior post, I acquired a cat and, as a result, her 4 kittens.  After 8 weeks I reached my limit of boxes, weaning, litter-box training, weighing, administering meds, scaling barricades, aluminum foil.  I wanted my house back.  Happily, they found homes with current cat owners that knew the responsibility and had the means to care for them.  Then came mama cat's moodiness, crying for kittens, spaying, more vet bills, escaping...  She used to be gentle, affectionate, patient.  Now she's an ornery teenager.  I'll be taking her to the vet to ensure there is no physiological reason, but now she has peed on my bed.  The number one reason for abandoned cats...?  Urination.  Here's hoping caturineodor.com can help.

I feel such a sense of responsibility, after all I'd never abandon my family members.  And she chose us.  Even Christ remembered the sparrow, and if I'm to ever strive to be like Him I must remember His creatures.  But I have no love for this cat; there is nothing symbiotic about this relationship.  And this lone caregiver has been outvoted by the remainder of the residents of this home.  

So cheers, here's to another 16 years of Belle!

Destination: Middle of Nowhere

Typical TX plains view

Every year late in the spring family and friends are sharing their summer destinations.  I LOVE nature, I miss the Blue Ridge mountains, Great Falls, Sky Meadow, The Great Gully adjacent grandpas farm, sailing on the Finger Lakes in upstate NY, trips to The Outer Banks with my Aunt, hiking to Bridal Veil Falls with my mother.  It's such a joy to see all the our Father in Heaven created for us to see.  I'm blessed to have lived a life so full to have been able to witness all these.

The majority of my adult years are a bit less varied; every side of TX.  Don't get me wrong, I have a xeriscape garden and I'm learning to appreciate the arid plains!  And this year I truly couldn't be more grateful for the rain (last year Aug 9, 2011).  Don't misunderstand, there so much to LOVE about TX, cheap housing, employment, a great local church, family within 6-7 hours, plentiful Mexican food...  But I laughed heartily when I came across a native-Texan friend's pinterest board Anywhere but Texas; it's not just me after all!  And I guess most of all I would love to find somewhere hidden amongst the vast expanse of PRIVATE land that I can go to commune with nature... tumbleweeds and infestations of kittens somehow just don't seem to cut it!

So taking a cue from Scott's 8th birthday party for international spies, I'm on a mission!  I'm going to explore the few nature reserves like the Caprock Canyons, swim in the Greenbelt Reservoir, hike other parts of the Palo Duro Canyon, maybe even venture as far as Quanah to Copper Breaks , tip a cow or two...  By the end of this summer, I'm going to find my nature refuge and find somewhere bucket list worthy for even you to enjoy!  After all, the rose that blooms in the desert is the most beautiful after all !(Isa 35:1)

I think my destination will be

to find the beauty in all I see!-- me

Tag, I'm it!

I haven't done this for a while.  And since my hilarious and dear friend, Elizabeth, tagged me, I couldn't deny the opportunity.  And just for her, I'll use the wrong form of your/ you're every chance possible.

 

THE RULES:

1. Post these rules
2. Post 11 random things about you're self
3. Answer the questions provided by the one who tagged you
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag
5. Tag 11 people

 

11 Random things about me:

1. I'm a dog person who recently acquired a cat who had 4 kittens.
2. I prefer to spend time with males (I have a husband and two boys), I'm not sure if it's because I mystified and want to understand them.  Or since I don't understand them they offend me less.
3. I love humor and can be relatively funny, but I always use it at inappropriate times.  (Like funerals, 1.  I feel more alive, 2.  The context is I'm certain I will see them again and so I don't feel overly sad usually, 3.  I'm Irish, when you bury me I hope there's a wake involved.  It may be cathartic to cry, but so is laughter.)
4. I don't have a green thumb but I love learning about plants, trees, etc.  In truth, I have a black thumb.  I'm determined to make my garden grow this summer.  I'm quite shocked that so far it is!
5. I give a good back rub.  My husband never gets them because it's like massaging a brick wall.
6. I love Sushi.
7. Mackinac Island is a dream vacation, as are the Red Woods.  I doubt I'll get to see either.
8. I'm not sure if I'm a Virginian (where I grew up) or a Texan (where I better fit in.)
9. I think I like monkey bars, running, and jumping on the trampoline... my body disagrees.
10. Humor is in the eye of the beholder.  So if I poke you in you're eye and look in the mirror I'm instantly funnier!
11. Eleven is an obscure number.  I rather enjoy Monk, probably because I relate.

My Questions:

1. What's you're favorite drink?  Sangria Soda or Virgin Screwdriver.  (You know, Mormon w/ Catholic heritage.)
2. What animal are you most afraid of?  None that I can think of (this will bother me later because I'll come up with 1,000.)
3. What is you're favorite thing to do on vacation?  Drive.  It's ironic how after a long drive to get to my destination I can't wait to get into the car to see the scenery/ sites.
4. Do you like you're name? If not, what do you wish you're name was?  What's NOT to like about my name?!  Besides the gal who tagged me, and every Elizabeth ever mentioned in books... I'd choose my name if it wasn't chosen for me!  (Who cares if it suits me, I'd love to be mistaken for being like them!!!)
5. What are you're top three favorite movies?  Good thing you gave me 3, I'd never be able to limit it otherwise... Return to me, Just like Heaven, Leap Year, Roman Holiday, Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Uncorked... Okay, so I can't limit it after all!
6. What are some characteristics you look for in a friend? My friends are always more awesome than me!  In truth, I don't look for anything.  I try to love all I meet.  Perhaps some are less close than they may have been originally, but being a friend isn't something THEY qualify for, it's something I endeavor to deserve.
7. Do you consider yourself creative? In what ways?  Yes, but not creative enough to say how I am... so I'm probably wrong.
8. What's you're favorite season, and why?  Fall/ Autumn.  It's the kick off to the holidays, the season of the bulk of my family's celebrations, and there is little I enjoy and Miss more than the leaves out east when they are every color of the rainbow!
9. Do you believe in ghosts?  Yes, but they're often misunderstood.  I'm grateful for my father who passed away and visits me with a song in my times of need.
10. What is you're ideal weekend? (Relaxing at home, time outdoors, getting work done?)  As much as I love my family, my ideal weekend would be on the beach or swimming in the ocean by myself.  (I need some alone time.)
11. Are you a dog person or cat person? (Or "other")  See no. 1 of Random things...

I'm a loser w/ karma nipping at my heals.  I want to hear from ALL of you.  Your now tagged and must pause and enjoy yourself for a moment by being introspective regarding the following...

Cats & Dogs

My brother, Tom, once told me that, as a child, he thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys.  I laughed in great amusement at this absurdity.  However, as I've gained more years of experience (in other words, gotten much older) I've come to see a great deal of wisdom in his observation.  Now, granted, there are boy cats and girl dogs.  But the characteristics of each correctly define the sexes.  It's no wonder that there are cat ladies in the world.  We are overly independent.  Temperamental is an understatement. Boys, on the other hand, are rough and tumble and faithful to a fault.  Having a fondness of boys (the older brothers, the husband, the sons...) I thought myself a lover of the latter.

Let me pause to define the word irony.

It is perhaps best described as Fate's twisted sense of humor.

I mean, when we hear an ironic story we're laughing at the polar opposite of the desired result,

being grateful that we weren't that poor sucker?!

Okay, so I always envisioned myself growing up and getting a dog.  Nothing yappy, nothing portable, nothing resembling a cat.  However, [enter Fate snickering] we recently met a stray cat... she had a collar but roamed the neighborhood regularly.  When we were working on a project in the garage, she welcomed herself, and being in a neighborly mood, I didn't shoo her away.  Over the following weeks, she returned frequently until one day I noticed she was getting quite thin.  I felt for her and took note that she was in need.  We sat with her and gave her the affection she was thirsting for.  I thought little of it until my friend mentioned that she wanted a cat and even went looking to adopt.  I borrowed another friend's carrier and let her come in my home until she could be collected in a few hours.  However, my friend's family was allergic.  It was okay, my cat carrier friend said she'd be willing, she didn't mention that her husband wasn't so much so.  So after a couple of days waiting to find someone, we became her family.  It was kismet.  (My brother, Tom, reminded me of a day when we found a kitten and brought it home and hid it, because then Mom would never know.  He appropriately defined me as a closet cat lover.)

I eventually took her to be adopted and get her shots (after the initial shock wore off.)  She was bloated and given dewormer.  She was 6 months old and a gem with the kids.  Young enough to be enjoyed for many years to come and just the right age to be spayed.  I sat on that budget-breaker knowing I needed to but working up the courage to fork it over.  She was still bloated so I suggested that we make sure she wasn't expectant before spaying.  (I'm pro-life for every species.  Though I still believe in birth control.)  The ultrasound showed 3, then 3 on the other side," but those might be the same 3," said the vet.  [Maniacal laugh as Fate watched from the corner of the room.] 

So we moved Jim to the bottom bunk, Scott to the top, took the crib apart (to get it through the door), reassembled (minus the mattress and springs) and set a make-shift tent over it in the only available space in our tiny house, next to the dining table.  10 days later... 3 NO WAIT 4 kittens.  (I think she's really done this time, but maybe there are another 2 hiding out, bidding their time and waiting for Fate to pop his popcorn for the big show.)

It's funny, okay truth be told, it's ironic that the dog lover in me would give way to 4 fuzzy fur-balls and their loving mama.  But it's also ironic that I began this blog many, many months ago.  I suppose Fate always gets the last laugh, and if we have a good attitude, we can join in on the fun and have a good chuckle at ourselves.

Perception and patience

Just in case you haven't noticed, I'm a person with a definitive opinion on most everything.  I make gut decisions, and generally I stick to it vehemently.  I don't want to be a fence sitter and I want to be clear about what I think, say and do.  That means that there are MANY times in my life that I don my peppermint shoes, eat crow, and have to make a 180.  I think everyone out there can relate to some degree or another.  But here's the challenge in life... sometimes the 180 is just as wrong.

Our parents were too finey-winey and we become too loosey goosey to not repeat the mistake.  Guess what our kids will do, they'll be finey-winey to avoid the same mistakes we made.  So there you have it.  We are products of our training and sometimes that polar opposite is not any more healthy than the source from which we come.  Does that mean that our short-comings will be perpetuation generation to generation?  Not at all!

I have a dear friend who is better at compromising than anyone I know.  Does that mean she compromises her standards or is a fence sitter?  Not at all, she is one of the most balanced people that I know.  And therein lies her strength.  Do we work with each other or against?  Are we united or polarized?  Is there a generational gap or do we seek to understand and find a balanced compromise?

We focus on the differences, married/ single, male/ female, old/ young, republican/ democrat, white/ minority.  We have all felt misunderstood, discounted and undervalued.  In a desire to finally be heard we shout to the sky our beliefs determined to have our way...a.k.a. stubborn.  The louder we shout, the more no one wants to hear us.  Certifying our lack of contribution to the world by repelling others.  Our perspective of things having met the, all too common fate, of self-fulfilling prophecy.

So how can we find a common value and be unified in the decisions of life that must be made?  Have we reached a stale-mate?  Rather than decide on a solution, have we cast our fate to the wind?  Have we trampled on those that are non-confrontational or patient?  When met with a challenge that lights the fire in us do we spontaneously combust, destroying ourselves and those in the immediate vicinity?  Do we throw a temper tantrum?  In a world with an ever increasing pace are we hasty, impatient...?   Do we give into self preservation at all cost?  And what is that cost... our children, our spouses, our religion, our nation?

I suggest a simple, albeit, not easy solution.  First, listen.  Allow the owner of the feelings to share honestly and be justified in their opinion.  Find out their intention.  Did the child take the toy from the other because it was time to clean up?  Did you husband make a racket while cleaning the living room?  Was the school board looking out for those who neglected their children?  Did the government try to help with a need? 

Second, share gently.  Is there another perspective you can offer without becoming emotional?  (That doesn't mean you cannot be justified in what you felt, but that you can exhibit a bit of self-restraint and patience.)  Can you compromise by 50/50 (on the idea) or 100/ 100 (on two different ideas)? 

Third, sometimes it is not about differing ideas, but differing priorities.  What is of greater importance to you?  They may not be the same for each person.  Here's a silly illustration... my husband, Andy, gets anxious when he's hungry.  Likewise, my limit is reached when I'm tired.  So I cut slack near mealtime, and likewise he me when the day is reaching a close.

Remember, the reason you are with this person is not to oppose but to work together for the common good.  Honestly appreciate them for their perspective.  Increase your understanding.  Find common ground.  Set priorities separately and together.  Keep the end in mind when making those day-to-day and life decisions.  Admit when you've made a mistake.  It is often more important to be on the same page than to have made a perfect choice.  Ideally we'd all follow these rules or even any of them, but if we can remember when things go south that 'I care about this person and I want them to know it in a way that THEY can understand', then we will be of one heart and later of one mind.

My dad was finey-winey, my mother loosey-goosey.  Sometimes the compromise is found in simply being different.  Their yin-yang relationship allowed me the closest thing available to a balanced parent.  Their goal was the same and I wouldn't have changed either.  Being most like my dad we butted heads until I understood the first rule; his intention.  He loved me.  I didn't need to follow the rest of the steps to their final perfect conclusion to be okay with his unrelenting parenting, because what more could a girl want than that her father would love her. 

None of us have a perfect tool box to work with.  None of us are pros at using the tools we possess.  Accept that.  Expect that.  Enjoy the ride and express your love.  Love has a capacity to cover so many imperfections in ourselves and others, and allows us to want to and be able to work on that end goal together, intact, and whole.  We are a no less significant by being part of a greater whole.  For more about this read my favorite scripture Jacob 5.

Battle of the Bowl

Let me begin by expressing my gratitude of indoor plumbing.  I grew up with stories of my dad's childhood in the sticks of upstate New York and his visits to the outhouse.  My mission was a third-world experience.  So as an adult (why did I look forward to this?) I thought I'm doing well.  We had a house that we owned as students in college!  It was pepto-pink, and we knew the CARPET in the bathroom would have to go, but...  The first Sunday brought an emergency that the plunger couldn't solve.  So we were grateful that the in-laws lived 1 mile away while we remodeled (thanks to a friend, the job got done).  We learned that 1.  We are NOT handy people.  2.  I really, REALLY don't like pink.  and 3.  We wanted an extra bathroom for when things go south.

We determined what we wanted for our little family 3 bed, 2 bath, 2 car garage.  However, with few choices, and less money.  We reaccessed that a 3-1-1 would suffice, if it were in prime condition.  With our little one well on his way, we made our choice.  It's been a great home.  A phenomenal tree (which is hard to come by in the TX panhandle.)  So far, our choices had been perfect for our family. 

UNTIL... we added a fourth bathroom user.  We've sent users on sabbatical behind the shower curtain while those of smaller bladder and a decreased capacity for thinking ahead take up residence from those more experienced users.  So to honor the sacrifice, I squat and proudly proclaim my intention to...

Word verification

I love reading funny blogs, sure I read for information or to get updates on close family and friends, but besides God and family, humor is my first love.  There's nothing like leaving a silly comment and then getting down to word verification.  ScHLad! FiMerFaStErnickeN  Really?  I don't think those are words.  Shouldn't that be letter verification or character verification?  Then the machine is baffled when you got it wrong and have to try again.  Seriously, you thought I could spell vLflamBXUzC correctly?  I mean, I have enough trouble with the English language.  It reminds me of trying to understand infants when they try to communicate.  And of course, I meld the two in my mind.  100 babies in 100 rooms for 100 years trying to write the complete works of William Shakespeare.  Everything else is used as word verification.  Oh, and if you need, Professor Xavier will help.

Parental Priorities

I've been laughing to myself recently about my role and the changes it makes in my life.  It puts things in perspective and brings joy to the sacrifices of motherhood.  Here are my top ten.  Please comment and share your new priorities.

You know you're a mother if... 

1. Your idea of a dream vacation consists of 5 minutes in the bathroom by yourself.
2. Your idea of a dream vehicle is anything with a working DVD player and enough seats for an army.
3. Your idea of a night on the town gets you back roughly at 9:30pm and sleeping in is up after 7am.
4. Your idea of gourmet is anything with the main ingredient of chocolate.
5. Your idea  of justice is making the elder sibling share so there will be peace among the ranks.
6. Your idea of clean is anything within 5 ft of where it belongs or I can't see it with my glasses off.
7. Your idea of entertainment is prefaced by the words, "Disney's..." or "Pixar's..."
8. Your idea of exercise is wrestling a small crew of rebels into the aforementioned land yacht.
9. Your idea of dressing up includes shaving your legs and putting on chapstick.
10. Your idea of prince charming only requires brushing his teeth.

Showa Powa!

Have you noticed that every toilet in the world uses less and less water and that you now have to flush the commode six times to get it to take down a sheet of TP?  Have you also noticed, in stark contrast to that, the 15,000 shower head flood gates that put the Hoover Dam to shame?  Now don't get me wrong, conservation is always a good idea and I like to be clean, but this doesn't seem to equate!  I also giggle a little at cloth diapers in a drought area where land is not a factor.  (I'm glad it's not my call to make about diapers anymore.)  To each their own in every choice.  The irony just made me giggle so I thought you might get a kick out of it.

Texas BBQ... y'all, there's an ap for that!

Texas Monthly BBQ Finder

Texas in the fall.  Okay it's year 'round, but particularly in the fall for me.  The weather's cool enough to need a little heat on the stove, in the oven, 'round the crock pot.   The body craves a thicker layer of warmth to protect us from the chill.  We indulge in every variety of squash to prepare our eyes for the lower light of winter.  And to boot, it's harvest and slaughtering time.  Ranchers are a little hungrier and have a little more to line their pockets.  So y'all ready for this?  Repeat after me... chili, cornbread, brisket, ribs, sausage, beans and, of course, sauce.  Rudy's, Red River, Dyer's, Hard 8, The Cattle Exchange...  I can see the springs in the scale under the strain just thinking about it.  But, as I'm not a rancher, I can't afford bigger clothes (nor do I want to), and I want to be healthier.  I'll just think it.  Just a passing day dream... now back to your normally scheduled programming.  Of course, if you're in the neighborhood, y'all just come down and get some.

My Superhero...

With a couple of the busiest weeks of my life approaching, a sleep deficit that would put the national budget to shame, and more that need be done than would fit on my plate... I decided to take a nap.  Now lest you think that unwise with so much to do, I would never have gotten anything done from sheer exhaustion.

When I awoke prince charming was folding clothes.  Later he gave a blessing to Jim for his eye.  And then helped the boys get ready for bed.  If that weren't enough he talked to me about one of life's dilemmas and helped me find a moderate and humorous resolution.  And wrapped it all up with a back rub.  I asked him what title would he like for his day's work.  He settled on my preferred suggestion, "My superhero who wears his underwear inside his pants."  So honey, this one's for you.

Musica

I recently had a friend express a near blasphemous opinion... she hates musicals.  WHAT?!  It couldn't be I must redeem her.  However, let it be known, I have to be in the mood.  After all, my attention span has been, as of late (meaning since kids.), limited.  But to hate?  As dear John would say, "oh, nay nay."

Here's my take on it, music makes me merry.  It makes comedy funnier.  It makes the world go 'round.  I dare you.  Give it a shot.  Just listen to Tim Hawkins, and don't laugh.  As if that weren't delightful enough.  I openly admit, I watch Sesame Street with my 3 year old!  But Ricky Gervais AND Elmo should never share the screen... at least if you want to not get in trouble with the boss for goofing off and failing to retain professional decorum at work.  And of course a nod to my all time favorite miscreants The Muppets.  And last, but not least, why would AFV do montages if they weren't particularly funny with a melodic accompaniment to Dad's and diaper?

Crap, I mean craft project

Fallingwater Home Frank Lloyd Wright

I consider myself an individual that likes simple unhindered design.  Art deco, craftsman, retro 60's.  Yet, when I look around my house, I find a lot of junk whose only object in its design is to collect dust.  Andy often says, Relief Society's favorite projects are taking something useful, and turning it into something useless.  (Though beautifying the home on a budget is certainly not its sole occupation, it certainly has a basis in real life.)  Okay, some has been acquired due to the "thoughtfulness" of my children (who would want to change that?)

Autumn, spring and summer wreath Elizabeth McLatchy

All that having been said, there is something enlivening about being artistic.  It refreshes the soul.  It enlivens the mind.  It occupies the hands (although we need to be certain it is not a foolish sacrifice.)  I've always had a zeal for living plants.  From the seasonal garden club with Emily to working in wholesale and retail floral sales (sadly, I was just the driver, could there is a more rewarding occupation...?  Everyone's always made happy by what you did for them, even at funerals.)  But it seems that my lot is silks.

Our tree... note the playhouse I made to the left of the tree in the background

Ironically, I have a black thumb.  I once received a gardenia bush FILLED with buds and ready to bloom.  They are beautiful flowers.  In Spanish they're most commonly referred to as 'smell of the night.'  The bush died before ANY could bloom.  I was given an ivy for a wedding present.  After 8 years of torture, I allowed it to pass from this life peacefully.  I once planted maple tree helicopters.  The next year when they began to spring forth, I cut them down because, if I remember right, my brother told me they were poison ivy.  (Thankfully my mother reminded me that I had planted them and to put the shoots back in the ground and water them... as far as I'm aware they are still alive and over 25 ft tall... The Lord obviously took mercy on the trees.)

Wayfarer's chapel CA near redwood forest Lloyd Wright

My dream vacation would be to the Redwood forest in CA.  Fall is my favorite season with all it's lovely colors, and my favorite colors from nature spring forth from the trees.  Even the scriptures about trees are my favorites (Jacob 5; 1 Nephi 11:  8; Genisis 3:6; Alma 32:41; Luke 13:19; Matthew 26:36; Joseph Smith History 1:13-14)  If I were to find out I'm absurdly wrong as to all my beliefs I was once a tree in a previous life.

Aspen Cathedral, Vail, Colorado

 Did you know the largest organism is a grove of Aspen that are all interconnected spanning 106 acres?

Okay, so who says perfect design and art don't interconnect?  Isn't he who designed the world perfect?  So I rest my case.  What was once crap, is now craft; skill, talent, ingenuity, seemingly random design, all combined with a purpose in mind.  What are you making?

What's in a name?

I was in a win-win situation for naming our eldest child, named after his dad and both grandfathers.  The other was just as easy after both of my brothers.  I've always been happy with my own, and all the nicknames that have fit me so well.  There is value and substance in a name that is beyond expression.  For example, "And under this head ye are made free, and there is no other head whereby ye can be made free. There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ, all you that have entered into the covenant with God that ye should be obedient unto the end of your lives." Mosiah 5: 8  Perhaps that is why people are so easily offended when we don't remember theirs.  Sadly, names don't come easy to me.  Even after several years of knowing a person, I can draw a blank.  I suppose that living in the same area and having few move-ins helped to not exercise that part of my cerebrum.  Or maybe it was the hours practicing head stands that caused dain bramage.  But nothing was quite as trying as my mission, in regards to this skill, or rather lack thereof. 

For those that don't know I went Spanish-speaking.  Not only did I need to learn their names, and remember them, but many were names with which I was completely unfamiliar.  After reading Kevin!!! I remembered an incident from my mission.  I sat in a room with my companion, our member friend, who's name, of course, I can't recall.  He introduced us to a dozen of his closest friends and we taught them.  Nearing the end of the lesson, I felt more familiar with some of their names, and decided to use them instead of say, "Usted [you]."  "Calendario,..." I don't remember if I said anything else.  I was embarrassed for having said his name wrong.  And everyone was in gales of laughter at my expense.  So I asked him what his name was.  The response, "Candelario."  I thought, 'Well, I was close.  Besides neither makes sense; calendar, candelabra.  Same dif.'  Well shortly after my mission, I saw a couple in the temple (there are benefits to living in the same state where I served.)  I happily greeted a family who frequently fed us... "Sister Galavis!"  um.  It was Galvan.

So if you are greeted with a happy generic, "You."  Please don't feel I don't know or care about you.  I just don't remember names.  I'm all the more amazed, daily, that God knows each and every one of ours.  Exodus 33:17

Fabulously Freaky & Fantastic Fall

Old Rag Mountain, VA

Currently 52 degrees here in TX.  All functional windows open.  Listening to John Denver.  No candy corn in sight.  Living room as clean as it will ever be while I have children at home.  For a million reasons, fall is by far my favorite.

I grew up in VA near the Shenandoah, so the mountains, deciduous trees, acoustic guitar run in my veins.  Please bear with me while I wax sentimental.  Old Rag Mountain.  Hiking with Dad was the best of times.  He was always with the slowest hiker, which was me (we'll blame it on being the youngest, though I doubt that was the real reason.)  Bear's Den with Mike, my 'brother' and friend, playing his twelve string.  Sky Meadow State Park; 11 years old camping out with Dad for the first and last time on snow dusted hills.  Poor man, I forgot my pillow.  I laid on his arm ALL night (maybe men do know pain.)  Long drives down Great Falls Parkway as fast and smooth as I could corner.  Drives down quiet roads through untouched fallen leaves.  My husband and I were married in fall, my sons were born in fall.  And then there's my mother, a new Halloween costume for 3 kids every year, all the way through high school.

Previous years costumes

And, as every mother knows, the tradition must continue...  This year is no different.  The same family celebrations blown out of proportion to build memories.  And an intense desire for my children to have as much fun at this time of year as I do.  So with the measuring tape around my neck like a noose, a shovel to dig out the sewing machine, and every useable scrap of fabric at my disposal (all of which, will likely not fit the bill.)  I sit to make the final decision for my children (since kids can't seem to pair down ideas to their favorites and it changes daily.)  Scott a mummy (a.k.a. mommy; Jim say's, "Mommy's are scary.")  And Jim a Fighter Fighter (a.k.a. Fire fighter), Scooby-Doo or Buzz Lightyear.  Maybe you can help me out with a vote...

Hanging on

Enduring has such a challenging connotation.  Who wants to hang on when there doesn't seem to be any end to waiting, suffering, loss, sorrow, laundry, dishes, diapers...?  I've been pondering this continually over the last few months.  How are you happy when everything seems to go wrong, dreams are lost, and tedium is the daily feast?  I mean manna would get a little tiresome after 40 years. (Ex 16:35)

Here's where the beginning starts, you stop expecting.  What?!  No hope, no ambition, no reward?!  No that's not quite it.  No entitlement, no vanity, no settling for less than the best.  Let me explain. 

There was a rich young man who wanted to inherit the kingdom of God.  He lived a virtuous life and loved the Lord and his fellow man.  He was told in order to inherit, he needed to leave behind all his riches. Luke 18: 18-27  Often, the story is left in the middle when the young man leaves sorrowing for, "he had great possessions."  Leaving the masses under the superstition that he didn't do as he was asked.  It is difficult to do what is expected when we are asked to leave so much behind.  But isn't faith stretching, reaching out to something better?  The scripture says, with God nothing is impossible.

Isn't it obvious that something need be left behind in order to not carry a burden when we are yoked with him. (Matt 11: 28-30)  What does He require that we leave behind?  To paraphrase, "On the path of life, sin is the only acceptable thing to litter."  Let me share a few personal experiences that demonstrate my relationship with the Lord.

It began one night as I knelt by my bed, seeking to know that path the Lord would have me take.  The options as a young single woman were so immense that I found it impossible to make a decision.  After an hour or more pleading to know the best route, the answer came in the form of a question, "What in your life keeps you from being closer to me?"  So I asked myself what it was that I wanted more than to be with Our Father.  Quickly I noticed my error.  I wanted to be married more than anything.  The only way I knew to ensure my not marrying (at least for a time) was to serve a full-time (18mo.) mission.  (One of the rules no dating during that time.) 

Then I wanted to go abroad.  The Lord said state-side.  Well at least I won't be eating Mexican... but then again I learned to love it.  Having seen enough of TX I was happy to return home... only to marry someone from TX.  Someone who hadn't yet completed his education and who was on my "just friends" list, are you seeing a pattern that He knows better?  Children... complications in conceiving.  How about a girl... I love my boys.  At least I can get my education... though I'm married to an instructor, no discount.  So, suffice it to say.  I'm familiar with giving up on what I want.  But having done so much of it, I've found I'm fiercely clinging to my last farthing Mark 12: 41-44. 

So truly the test begins when we are stretched.  It's hard to share the last Oreo.  It's painful to give the last of our free time.  It's excruciating to give the last bit of our dreams or hopes for sleep or having an adult conversation.  But the promise in every sacrifice is for something better.  The whole, salvation, becoming like our Savior...  And so the invitation to strive to give up EVERYTHING we are, EVERYTHING we have, EVERY talent we possess, EVERY selfish desire, EVERY sin.  But in return he promises that we can become like His son, having His image in our countenance Alma 5:14.  Is there anything more blessed than to count ourselves able to bear His cross.  Luke 14:27 and finish our refinement.  To be made whole, perfect.  Having given up everything in us that isn't divine.  Through the process of letting go we make our hands free to hang onto Him, our Rock (Hel 5:12).  And as we make ourselves one, we become like Him.  What a beautiful cross to bear.

So what's your last farthing?  Chocolate?  Sleep?  Personal time?  A trip?  A second toilet?  Talk to Him, and "if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you."  (Alma 32:27)

It's good for what ails ya!

Look for me in future editions.

Disclaimer:  My advice comes with no medical license so don't blame me if this isn't a cure all.

There is a contagion of disproportionate amounts that is spanning the globe.  Its viral effects cause varying symptoms from hair loss to erratic appetite! There seems to be no race immune, nor indication of predisposition.  However, lest I strike fear into the heart, there is a cure.  And luckily, there is no concern of non-payment due to a preexisting condition!  The cure?  Laughter.  

This week alone I have been bombarded with self-doubt and self-pity.  I have seen yet another family torn apart due to divorce.  I have witnessed the physical manifestation of stress in multiple individuals.  Sincerely horrible plagues!  Incredibly serious afflictions.  And even contagious attitudes.  What do I say to myself or my friends with serious maladies?  Don't take it too seriously.


PLEASE, don't misunderstand.  I have the greatest empathy for the pain that is suffered.  I do not discount it, demean it, or disregard it.  Yet, be it by situation, others' choices, our own idiocy... there are only two things that can offer a cure or respite; a Savior and a sense of humor.  God sent us here to have experience and learn.  That doesn't mean fantasy land, or Utopia.  That means get our knees dirty and have a great time playing, even if we strike out!  Fix what you can.  Repair what you've done to the best of your ability and then let the rest fly.  The atonement heals victim and sinner alike. 

Misery may like company, but comedy needs an audience!  Take a dose and pass it on.  Hope your days are lookin' up by rising above what life throws at ya!

Increasing capacity to love

By Bernice Pipa

It is a commandment second to only one.  It reads, ...Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."  Matt 22: 39  It is my father's favorite song.  It was my favorite FHE lesson and scripture as a child.

Is love a feeling we are blessed with , the status of a relationship, or the action that displays it?  Love is charity.  My husband, Andy, said while we were dating, "You don't fall in love, you don't fall out of love, you choose to love."  I believe that's true.  Although each relationship is different in the expression of love, the essence is still the same.  We find value in a person, and express it through thought, word, and deed.

Love is a capacity .  It is as a vessel that can be filled, expanded, overflow.  God IS Love;  it is the nature of divinity to love and be loved.  And possessing that nature as His children, it is our essence.  By receiving from this infinite fountain of love, at the moment we share from our vessel it is replenished.  We can cap it, however; limiting the love given and received.  If we don't receive God's love, we cannot have faith in Him (because faith requires trust.)

Developing this capacity is cyclical.  1.  We must first receive.   Drink deeply from the fountain.  2.  We must seek to share that love with others.  A fire that is enclosed, is a fire that dwindles.  3.  We must love self.  Believe that we are worth the faith invested in us by a loving Father in heaven.  We must treat ourselves with kindness and compassion.

Why love self?  This is NOT selfishness.  (Remember capping that love diminishes it.)  Softened hearts are synonymous with having an open cap on the vessel.  If we believe there is no reason that God would love us, we limit how much love we will receive from him; we restrict it.  If we are self-loathing, we assume others think about us as we do; perceived disappointment.  We then limit our second, indirect source of love; love from our family, friends, neighbors, and associates.  If we judge our faults harshly, we find those similarities in others and judge them.  When we do not accept love from others, we silently tell them their love isn't worthy or acceptable.  Our ability to love self is equal to our ability to love others.

We each have a need for love, being God's children.  If we are not filled with love, we will look to other sources for love.  We become reliant upon others for our self-worth, justification, and love.  Physical and mental addiction, abuse of self or others, excessive diversion (leaving a course to which God appointed us for a useless one/ virtual accomplishment.)  We teach our children, by example how to shun love.  Any act of reducing love is the result of pride; a division between us and anyone else.  The result is devastating to family, community, self, eternal potential, and the glory of God.

Let us better seek an eternally satisfying course, love others, love self, and thus love God.  For each soul that is loved can better love others.

Mad Gab Shopping

Shopping can be such a chore with kids.  And as a mom, is just part of the daily grind (or weekly if you have enough fridge space for several gallons of milk.)  But years ago I started giggling at my husband's spelling while shopping.  And the best way to ensure a boy doing something over and over is to laugh at him.  It's a born-in male instinct to want to make people laugh. So if you're looking for a way to make shopping less of a drudgery, marry someone who kant spail.

Don Quixote

Since my childhood I enjoyed Don Quixote.  For those of you who are unfamiliar it's story of an old man (the errant knight) who is losing his mind and craves nobility.  So he lives out his dreams of battling dragons (windmills) and saving damsels in distress (a bar maid) and rides on his noble steed (nag).  It good for a lot of laughs, and as the story develops we find that he is of great nobility, not because of his quests, but because of his heart... awwww.  What's not to like?  Danger, humor, intrigue, romance.

Well, if you're like me you get a kick out of it because you know that this is just one of those songs that gets stuck in your husband's mind... for days.  And so you sing it at the top of your lung once a year or so just to ensure proper penetration into the cerebral cortex!  It's the little things that matter most.  And with any luck friends that read your blog will suffer the same fate.

But last night I discovered something new that tickled me... perhaps it was the hour, perhaps it was all the joy and memories of this operetta.  But I laughed heartily when Andy said, "When I was a kid I thought his name was Donkey Hoteh.  I couldn't understand why his parents would name him DONKEY..."  Well it seems to suit the story and all the humor it naturally evokes.  So to all of you, enjoy DONKEY Hoteh!